Haikus #3

Tenors get the girls

When they’re on-stage; Baritones

Get the girls backstage

Special thanks to Brevard '06 alum, Emily, Julia, Kyra and Robert

Tweets!

A smattering of the offerings on Twitter, under the hashtag #accompanisthaiku

Dear NATS: your rule on

'Original copies' means

I play with one hand

No, really, it's fine.

I'll just guess what those notes were

on the last system.

No need to turn and

Nod as if I'm the butler

I'll play when you breathe

I'll be singing this

Song by Jason Robert Brown

(hold soft pedal down)

Improvise while the

Soprano makes up German?

All in a day's work

The Hal Leonard version:

Just like the older versions

But with worse page turns

Paul Hindemith wrote

sonatas for everyone.

I wish he hadn't.

Why is my music

more difficult than yours is?

Damn you, soloist!

You think that you are

conducting the choir yourself.

The organist leads

Nobody panic

The measures that you just skipped

Didn't matter much

You call me at nine

with audition tomorrow -

that's seventy bucks.

Critic in Row M:

I accompanied ably.

Last sentence is done

Acknowledge me, don't

Acknowledge me, just so long

As I still get paid

When a singer falls

Off pitch, off rhythm, off beat

I just play louder.

Pianist Haikus, #2

Fish swim, birds fly and
Freelance musicians gotta
Drive until they die
 . . . (my deepest apologies to Hammerstein and Kern)

Dear NATS: your rule on

'Original copies' means

I play with one hand

Pianist Haikus

Gig haikus* have been floating around the internet for awhile - mostly from the jazzer or bandmember's perspective.  I penned a few to express a different perspective, and will probably add on periodically as the muse strikes. CP's should understand the references:

Love's Philosophy

This isn't my voice jury

But I am on trial

If I never thought

She'd come to rehearse today

Am I still stood up?

Did not check the score

*kicking self repeatedly*

Before saying yes

*My favorite of that bunch:

I'm sending a sub

But don't worry, he'll be fine

He's fresh from rehab