Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My Church Gig Top 5

My church job is amusing on many levels, but I gotta go with these as my Top 5 favorite things:

5. Plastic plants
Onstage there are a variety of plastic plants that 'lend color' to the stage . Other than that, they generally collect dust and get in everybody's way, showing up in a different place every week. I'm partially convinced the ficuses have gained sentience and are making diabolical plans.

4. Oreos, fishies and apple juice
In between services they set out a mountain of Oreos and a little dixie cup army with apple juice or cheese fishies. Very handy for 'on-the-go' snacking between playing.

3. The small children's choirs
These are adorable. Slowly herded on- and off-stage like tiny, dazed convicts, the kids generally remember half of the words and/or movements. I love how their levels of involvement range from cheerful enthusiasm to mild disinterest to the kid who's completely removed and staring at the ceiling lights*. And always, there's one kid who sings a little louder than the rest or a little longer than everyone else.

2. The baptisms
A ritual that is deeply important to both individual families and the entire congregation occasionally goes awry. Watching parents chase immaculately-dressed toddlers, squelch multiple flailing limbs or desperately attempt to calm a wailing infant - all under the steady rhythm of the pastor's voice - makes me giggle.

1. The couple who dress their toddler in a bear suit
I first thought the couple was toting an enormous teddy bear. Instead, it was a child, dressed in a one-piece fuzzy brown bodysuit with ears. I looked for that child every Sunday last winter. And I'm hoping the suit still fits him.

*Or playing with the plastic plants

1 comment:

Rhonda said...

The couple probably did not dress the toddler in the bear suit. Chances are, it's more like they can't get him out of it! My daughter wore her Belle dress for 2 months one summer. And yes, I let her because I can only have so many arguments each day and the Belle dress was not that important! :)