Sunday, October 9, 2011

If pianists got citations . . .

Today after the Contemporary Christian Service finished I half-expected to be approached by a disgruntled officer, notepad in hand.  The expected interaction:

Officer:  Yes ma'am, do you know how many sus chords you were using in that hymn?
Me:  (slightly embarrassed) A couple?
Officer:  No, ma'am - 78 sus chords.  I was clocking you the entire way - you abused every chord you could with an added 2nd or 4th.  This is highly unnecessary, can shock a congregation, and worse-case scenario: sound like 'smooth jazz'.  I' m going to have to cite you for it.  
Me:  I'm sorry - I didn't realize how out of control I was.  
Officer: (hands over ticket)  Please be careful.  There are children listening.

Fortunately I haven't been caught.  Yet.

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